Present and Accounted For

Much of my life I have been absent. Or at least tardy. Never quite in the middle of things, yet making myself noticed. This new digital age can be a bit unnerving. Used to be you had family pictures but they weren't particularly good quality. If you squinted just right you could see yourself the way you chose to remember. But with the advent of digital imaging there is a record of all your days in crisp detail. It isn't always flattering.

I never thought of myself as someone who was particularly photogenic. I had assigned myself decades of being fat and unhappy. Years when I was depressed and depressing. But as I have sorted my pictures for 'Throwback Thursdays' on Facebook, I found a strange thing. Yes, there are years of fat pics. But guess what, most of the time I am smiling. And not game face smiles, but genuine big grins.

Last week a friend asked me to take down a picture I had posted of her on Facebook, She said it was not flattering. Of course I did so. Immediately. But it made me sad. Because we need a record of our days. There are pictures we thought nothing of at the time that trigger a whole sequence of memories. We don't know the importance at the time. But years later, we are so glad that picture is there. I will start with one from a very long time ago.

It is not a particularly flattering picture of Nana. She is in a gown with a wad of Kleenex in her hand. You can only see her profile, not her eyes. But you can see how she looked at her dear son, and how much he delighted in her. It was taken on the last visit I had with her. It was some time in the early 80s shortly before she died. We lost Dad 3 years ago. I don't have many pictures of Nana, even fewer with her and Dad. I treasure those pics.

So take my picture, and I will take yours. You have my permission to post any pic of me anywhere. I will promise to only post pics of you I think are flattering. If you ask me to take them down, I will do so. But the computer never forgets!!